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No one can know

by Metha i Lida


What is it about (written by the publisher):

Metha i Lida has a clear plan for her life. She is going to be a doctor, buy a house, and make a family. But a deep depression, which she tries her hardest to hide, puts all of her plans on hold. 24 years old, she attempts to take her own life. No one konws what she is going through before the suicide attempt - no one can know!

What goes through Metha's mind in the seconds before she tries to take her own life? What happens when she survives, and has to start over with the diagnosis Bipolar disorder, type 2? Metha invites us into her psyche when she was at the lowest point in her life. And she tells about the long journey back to herself, with help from professionals and her family.

In this book, she gives a brutal and honest description of depression, hypomania, suicidality, mental health, and how she has moved forward after getting a diagnosis she has to live with for the rest of her life. 

- If there is one thing I have learned in the last few years, it is that a lot of pain could have been avoided if I had just talked about it. Someone should have known.

Why I wrote the book:


We have all heard the terms depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety, but what does it really mean to be suffering from these disorders? What does it feel like? Look like? And what on earth could make a person want to kill themself?


There are a lot of things we still don't know about mental health and psychiatric disorders, but one thing I've learned is that sharing my own experiences has helped me. In this book I am brutally honest about the darkest time in my life. The inner dialog helps me relay what it is really like inside the head of someone seriously ill, and why I felt that suicide was my only reasonable option. And then everything that happened afterwards! How did I start to feel normal again, and when, and why, when I had a diagnosis that scared me.

Has been said of the book:

What a book! Most exciting and informative biography about bipolarity that I have read. In-depth about all the facets without ever getting boring. It's masterful. But above all: This is quite a novel! I draw parallels to "An Unquiet Mind" and "The Bell Jar". The language is fabulous.


- Per Bergsholm, Specialist in neurology og psychiatry.

He had treatment of mood disorders as his main focus in his carreer.


Buying the book (only available in Norwegian)

The book costs 298 NOK, and can be bought in various book stores, like these:

If you want a signed copy from me, I can send one to you.

It costs the same as buying it in the store :)

Just write to me saying that you want a book, who you want it signed to, and if you are picking it up, or want it shipped. Shipping costs will come in addition to the 298 NOK.